That would probably be a good way of describing what has been going on in my life lately. Despite knowing that there is no way that I will be able to be fully prepared for the moment my daughter arrives in this world, and the subsequent eternity to follow in which I will be responsible for her, I keep doing things I feel might just get me to this mythical point of preparation.
For starters, I’ve focused mainly on reading as much as I can about the whole process. I’ve consumed mass amounts of information starting with months before she’s born, to parenting tips for years far down the road in which I won’t even remember said tips. I keep wondering if I’m missing anything else, if there’s something I can possibly read that will provide a different viewpoint or insight that will be detrimental to this little ladies survival. I’ve even moaned and groaned to my wife about how unprepared I am, and how I need to find more information, more facts, more to-do and checklists. To which she politely responded: “That’s so funny. You’re the one worried about being prepared, yet I’m the one who’s going to have to actually give birth.” With that statement alone, I realized maybe, just maybe, I was going a little overboard with my obsession for being prepared. Maybe I should take a break from all my reading and just accept the fact that I will never be prepared for what is to come, and that’s okay.
In the meantime, I took to finish painting her room this weekend, which is finally complete. I’m pretty happy that with the results, and I’m looking forward to filling the room with all the wonderful stuff we have and will accumulate over the next couple of weeks and months. Just having the little things we already have makes it just a little more real. Her crib and changing table, her first outfit and other outfits we’ve been gifted, her little stuffed Kerropi, the art that my wife picked out for the room… it all brings the entire situation to reality whenever I step into her room. Exactly two months from today is our due date, and if this little lady shows up on time, that’s the day my entire life will change; Again. As it has been changing so often the past year or so. And I can’t wait.